'Twas Midnight On the Ocean
Now I have a little ditty
it's as crazy as can be;
The guy who wrote it said he wanted it,
and handed it to me.
I found I couldn't use it
because it sounded blue.
And that's the very reason why
I'm handing it to you.
It's the song the alligators sing while coming through the rye.
As they serenade the elephants up in the trees so high.
The iceman hums this ditty as he shovels in the coal.
And the monkeys join the chorus up around the northern pole.
It was midnight on the ocean, not a streetcar was in sight.
And the sun was shining brightly, for it'd rained all day that night.
Twas a summer night in winter, and the rain was snowing fast,
And a barefoot boy with shoes on stood there sitting in the grass.
It was evening and the rising sun was setting in the west.
The little fishes in the trees were huddled in their nests.
The rain was pouring down, and the moon was shining bright,
and everything that you could see was hidden out of sight.
While the organ pealed potatoes, lard was rendered by the choir.
The sexton rung the dishrag, someone set the church on fire.
"Holy smoke!" the preacher shouted, in the rain he lost his hair.
Now his head resembles Heaven, for there is no parting there.
The cows were making cowsnips and the bells were ringing wet,
The bumblebees were making bums and smoking cigarettes.
A man slept in a stable and came out a little hoarse,
so, he hopped up on his golf sticks and drove all around the course.
It was midnight on the ocean, not a horse car was in sight,
as I stepped inside the drugstore to get myself a light.
The man behind the counter was a woman old and grey
who used to peddle shoestrings on the Road to Mandalay.
"Good evening sir", the woman said, and her eyes were bright with tears
as she put her head beneath her feet and stood that way for years.
Her children, six, were orphans, except one tiny tot
who lived in a house across the street above a vacant lot.
Ain't we crazy, ain't we crazy
this is the way we pass the time away.
Ain't we crazy, ain't we crazy,
we're going to sing this song all night, today.
"Ain't We Crazy" (reportedly written or adapted by Haywire Mac)